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What's in a Name? 2017 Hottest Baby Names

Let the record show that I am in no way looking for a name for any near future babies of mine, but I saw this list while clicking around and thought about how strongly I feel about names. The list comes from if you are so inclined to see it for yourself. I won't post the entire list (they have the top 50 for boys and girls) but here are some highlights:

As I scrolled the list I realized I didn't have a lot of gripes with the girls names. The top 6 are just delightful but all have one thing in common in that they end in an "A".

1. Emma

2. Olivia

3. Ava

4. Isabella

5. Sophia (which also shows up at 18 spelled Sofia)

6. Mia

The top 10 rounds out with a city, two more names ending in "A" and the only blemish in the top ten. Despite being named after the last name of the greatest baseball player in the game today, number 9 is outrageous...

7. Charlotte (other towns on the list are: 16. Madison 40. Savannah 48. Brooklyn)

8. Amelia

9. Harper

10. Aria

Mostly the girls names don't rile me up much. I feel that girls names aren't as damaging to their future as boys names can be. Maybe it's that girls get picked on less, maybe it's that a hot chick can have any name and then it's cool... maybe it's both. But when you get to the fellas I've got qualms...

1. Liam (Makes me think of a foppish dandy from good ole England. Google foppish dandy if you need to.)

2. Noah (That kid is about to get an ark-full of boat making jokes. In fact I'll bet they come two at a time.)

3. Mason (This is a profession. A bricklayer. Not a name.)

4. Lucas (Luke also appears at #19)

5. Oliver

6. Ethan

7. Elijah (Solid run here in the mid top 10 but still sounds like a lot of Harry Potter reading nerds. I foresee a lot of wedgies...)

8. Aiden

9. Logan (Dad's happy to get Wolverine's real name on their son)

10. James (OMG a real solid common name finally)

11. Benjamin

12. Jacob (And whoa! 3 in a row)

After the top 12 things get dicey. I mean anything from here up I'd feel ok about with maybe the exception of Noah. Anything too biblical scares me. Also see Elijah.

13. Carter (THIS IS A LAST NAME! G.D. Morons!)

14. Jackson (SEE ABOVE! If you want Jack just call him Jack which by the way comes in on the list at #18. Then again as the bastardized WRONG spelling "Jaxon" at #29

Again consult the entire list at if you're interested in how names are going in 2017 so far.

To let this further be a guide for those expecting just think about these things when naming your kid:

1. Am I picking this name with a nickname in mind? If so just name them what you want. Nicknames emerge you can't pick 'em.

2. If playing the banana-nana fo-fanna game how dirty will the same sound?

3. Does it rhyme with popular goofy kid words like Art and Fart?

4. Will my kid have to spell his name to people for the rest of his life because NO ONE SPELLS JACKSON WITH AN X... except for when you shorten Jacksonville for the upper right corner of Jaguars games. (Also see: Will my kid be able to get a Coke can with their name on it... which is the new age version of 'Can my kid get a pre-made novelty license plate for their bike when we go to Florida?')

5. Be careful naming your kid a verb: Neil looks innocent enough on paper but read aloud by a priest sounds like a creepy command. Also beware things and occupations like the aforementioned Mason, or #50 Hunter. Mason will always be asked if every basketball shot he throws is a brick, and Hunter will always be expected to wear bright orange and know where the closest Cabela's is.

Keep in mind this article is written by a man who's High School Diploma reads "Jayson Piche" We had so many Jasons in our school I felt I needed to stand out from the rest, despite my actual name being spelled Jason. It worked... sort of... but I haven't used the Y in years.

Finally what's in a name? Well a lot. Have you ever met an attractive Bertha? Ever not been able to name at least two guy's you know named Chad who are total dickheads? Ever wanted to punch celebrity parents for names like Jermajesty, North, Diezel, Scout, or Apple? (All real BTW) Sometimes a name shapes a person. They grow up with a label placed on them and conform to what that name is. So be careful new parents cause a lot can be in a name!

#BabyNames #Jaxon #Names #Advice #Jayson

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