Deathpool 2010

People die every year... if these people do, I get paid!

So you've probably heard of this concept before, but in case you haven't here's the basic rules. People select celebrities, or famous people (determined by the group, some use having a Wikipedia page as the standard) who will die within the calendar year. If they do the person who picked the deceased is awarded points based on the age of that person at time of death. The points are based off of the age of 100 therefore someone who is 80 years-old is only worth 20 points whereas someone who is 20 years-old is worth 80 points. This makes selecting all old people not necessarily a good strategy, but at least a way to get on the board. Often times having 1 or 2 people that actually die on your list is good enough to win if the points are right.

Ok so now the moral issue... rooting for people's deaths. Well let's just say that I don't root for these deaths, but if it's going to happen anyway why not have some fun with it? I hope people have fun when I die. Are you with me? Oh, loosen up!

Anyway here is my list of 25 people. I selected them on a system that was based on a number of things. 1) Trying to pick some oddball ones 2) Picking a mix of young and old 3) The first 25 people that came into my head that were considered went down on my paper (I was going to be damned if I thought of someone and didn't put them down!) I'll explain more on each person as I go!

Here's the format:

# I thought of them: Who: Name (Birthdate of person)

What: What they are famous for

Why: Why I think they are going to kick it in 2010

When, Where & How: I guess how the person expires

Yes, I realize I'm going to hell.

1. Who: Jake Gyllenhall (Dec. 19, 1980)

What: Actor

Why: Chalk this one up to the idea that young Hollywood likes to party. I also got the idea from Heath Ledger's passing. A good score chance too since he's so young.

When, Where & How: In a Vegas hotel room with the drugs and alcohol after his next picture tanks.

Always good to see a Bruins fan getting slugged!

3. Who: Bob Barker (Dec. 12, 1923)

What: Game Show Host

Why: What Bobby lacks in points he makes up for in oldness. Now I love Bob but after seeing him on WWE in late 2009 I determined him one common cold away from death, and at least that would put me on the board with some points.

When, Where & How: Party at the Playboy mansion with too many beauties.

5. Who: Randy Newman (Nov. 28, 1943)

What: Singer/Songwriter

Why: When I wrote this one down I was actually thinking of Paul Newman, but it was too late I had already handed it in. Not a bad choice though due to age and obscurity.

When, Where & How: Found dead in his home with a suicide note that reads only: I realized that I had no reason to live... just like short people.

7. Who: Delonte West (Jul. 26, 1983)

What: Basketball Player

Why: Have you heard about this guy's off-court antics? He's bananas! Bi-polar or something. Plus he's young so a good score possibility.

When, Where & How: After the Cavs fail to win the NBA's Eastern Conference, Lebron heads elsewhere and the Cavs send West to the Clippers. The corners of West's head figure that they should do the humane thing and end his basketball career now... but he takes it a little too far.

9. Who: Dustin Diamond (Jan. 7, 1977)

What: Actor

Why: Rumor has it that he lives in the Milwaukee area and I think I saw him skating awhile back... he didn't look good and he gave me the stink eye.

When, Where & How: Downtown Milwaukee on a drunken bender by the "Bronzed Fonz" statue where he claims he's going to "Bleach the Screech," and dies of poisoning.

11. Who: Deanna Favre (Dec. 28, 1968)

What: Author/NFL wife

Why: While researching her picture I realized that she survived cancer which made me feel bad, but was not why I picked her. Brett Favre has had a lot of people close to him suffer death. And it always propels him to a big on-field performance.

When, Where & How: Passes away in her sleep during the season. Brett goes on to lead the Vikings to the NFC Championship game which they again lose.

13. Who: Betty White (Jan. 17, 1922)

What: Actress

Why: Sweet, sweet Betty White. Your time has come lady. Not a big score but 12 points is 12 points and I'll take 'em.

When, Where & How: Falls and can't get up. She should have called Life Alert.

15. Who: Weird Al Yankovic (Oct. 23, 1958)

What: Actor / recording artist

Why: This was just a hunch. I love his Twitter and always loved his parodies, but I just felt like his time has come.

When, Where & How: After finding Randy Newman dead Al is overcome with grief. Then while drinking the pain away with Dustin Diamond he feels guilt over not getting Dustin home safely and avoiding the whole "Bleached Screech" thing. Al is then committed to a psych ward where he accidently dies in a straight jacket.

Sweet lid big man!

17. Who: Ruben Studdard (Sep. 12, 1978)

What: Singer / Won American Idol once

Why: He's overweight, and in the music industry. I know he does gospel so maybe not a big party-guy unless there's a clown, and cupcakes.

When, Where & How: After Wikipedia pronounces him dead and no one notices until Ruben Googles himself, he then goes on a campaign to get noticed again by releasing a YouTube video of himself hula dancing. In the video he falls through a bamboo torch impaling himself.

19. Who: Rush Limbaugh (Jan. 12, 1951)

What: Radio host / blow-hard

Why: Seems like he has a lot of health issues, and could go at any time.

When, Where & How: While being informed about the new healthcare bill Rush blows his stack causing failure of just about everything in his fat, disease ridden body. The radio world rejoices...

21. Who: Jerry O'Connell (Feb. 17, 1974)

What: Actor

Why: This is another attempt at a relatively young Hollywood guy who partied a lot finally having all of the drugs and alcohol catch up with him.

When, Where & How: At a wrap party for a pilot for some sitcom that will never air, snorting coke off the chest of an underage girl.

23. Who: Chris Burke (Aug. 26, 1965)

What: Actor

Why: Honestly this is just science. Folks with Down's Syndrome don't usually live to be so old and Chris has had a long full life.

When, Where & How: Even I'm not that cruel/dark to suggest anything other than a gentle passing while watching a marathon of his hit show Life Goes On on VHS

25. Who: Wilford Brimley (Sept. 27, 1934)

What: Actor

Why: Getting old and I heard he has something called "dia-beet-us."

When, Where & How: It's easy to figure he would have an unfortunate oatmeal accident or an attack of diabetes, but I'm betting on an old fashioned hunting accident because we haven't had a famous one of those since Dick Cheney.

2. Who: Andre Agassi (Apr. 29, 1970)

What: Tennis Legend

Why: Don't get me wrong I love Andre, but I just got the feeling that after he finally got everything he had on his mind, out in his book that he'll be a little careless now that he doesn't have to hide everything.

When, Where & How: In a city hosting a tennis tournament just after an appearance he's found dead in a hotel. Foul play is suspected. The tennis world mourns...

4. Who: Steve Martin (Aug. 14, 1945)

What: Actor/Comedian

Why: A famous Saturday Night Live alum hasn't died in awhile and he's old

When, Where & How: In Asheville, North Carolina, in a car, heart failure while drinking a Coke for the first time.

6. Who: Cindy Crawford (Feb. 20, 1966)

What: Model

Why: I figured since models liked to party back in the day that her system is probably wearing down faster than normal. Plus a hot woman hasn't died in awhile and I'm pretty sure wherever she is Cindy's still smoking hot!

When, Where & How: The cause and times of Cindy's death are kept a mystery by her family which is never questioned except for one nosey reporter from TruTV looking to make a name for herself. She disappears during the investigation and is never heard from again.

8. Who: Melissa Joan Hart (Apr. 18, 1976)

What: Actress

Why: I loved Melissa when she explained it all as Clarissa on Nickelodeon and even as a witch named Sabrina... but she popped in to my head, is obscure, and young for a good score. That said I hope I don't cash in on this one.

When, Where & How: Mrs. Peacock in the conservatory with the lead pipe.

10. Who: Johnny Knoxville (Mar. 11, 1971)

What: Actor/Stuntman

Why: Johnny's been through some rough stuff and he loves to party. I'm guessing all of that will catch up with soon.

When, Where & How: After smoking some weed, Johnny pigs out on spray cheese, and sheet cake then passes out for the night... and forever after a bladder infection takes over his body

12. Who: Lawrence Taylor (Feb. 4, 1958)

What: Football Player

Why: This guy scored in almost every death category I had: older athlete, loved drugs and alcohol, is bat-shit crazy, headlined Wrestlemania 11

When, Where & How: Heart attack while watching his son snack on quarterbacks at Purdue.

14. Who: Kevin Federline (Mar. 21, 1978)

What: Recording artist / Former Mr. Brittany Spears

Why: I might be one of the only people who likes K-Fed (his album was okay), but it doesn't mean he can't go down in 2010. Good score possibility and really would this shock anyone?

When, Where & How: Trying to protect his kids from paparazzi K-Fed is hit by a car and then instead of calling for help the paparazzi continue to take pictures of everything. TMZ is later sued and puts the "Fed-Spears babies" through college.

16. Who: Bill Cosby (Jul. 12, 1937)

What: Actor / Comedian

Why: This man is old and his time is nearing. Now I like me some Cosby, and the points are slim but I've just got a feeling.

When, Where & How: During a special episode of Grey's Anatomy the gang treats a special guest patient and due to Ellen Pompeo's character's selfish attitude and 'pity-me' way about her, Bill Cosby actually dies.

18. Who: Ric Flair (Feb. 25, 1949)

What: Wrestler

Why: Wrestling loses one legend per year

When, Where & How: While working wrestling tours overseas, Ric eats some bad sushi and never recovers

20. Who: Jeff Hardy (Aug. 31, 1977)

What: Wrestler

Why: Wrestling loses one current wrestler per year. Also recent issues with drugs and the law. Has a "high-risk equals high-reward" lifestyle.

When, Where & How: While working smaller circuits on his way back to the WWE Jeff passes from heart complications shortly after a match.

22. Who: Patrick Duffy (Mar. 17, 1949)

What: Actor

Why: This was just a random pick.

When, Where & How: Sadly a bout of Alzheimer's disease make Duffy go insane with the idea that their actually is a roller coaster in Port Washngton, Wisconsin, as shown in the opening credits of Step By Step. He gets away from his handlers one day and goes missing. Rumor has it he lives near the Six Flags just north of Chicago constantly muttering "Cody," but he's pronounced dead after the search yields nothing.

24. Who: Lou Holtz (Jan. 6, 1937)

What: Former Coach / College football analyst

Why: This guy is old and judging from the things he says on College Gameday he's also going senile.

When, Where & How: When Lee Corso goes to put on the Alabama Elephant Mascot head next fall he strikes Lou with the trunk sending him ass-over-teakettle to the ground. Lou dies, Alabama loses.

The other 5 I should have picked:

Dick Clark - The ball's about to drop on his life

Ralphie May - Fat comedians die young

Tiger Woods - Crumbles under all the pressure

Amy Winehouse - Practically walking dead now as it is

Twista - Every time a rapper dies an angel gets their street cred

JasonPiche.com in no way supports the actual death of any of the aforementioned celebrities. Deathpools are just a fun way to celebrate the lives of famous folks and track the year while integrating a little gambling in on it for fun. We should all be so lucky as to be on a Deathpool list... I hope someday I'm on someone's Deathpool list.